Conversations With A New Mother

Conversations with a new mother:

Nurse Assistant: Go ahead and step on the scale.

Me: Shouldn't I take off my boots?

Nurse Assistant: Naw, that's okay.

Me: (Pause) They are heavy boots. (Smile)

Nurse Assistant: (Ignores me and looks at his chart instead... probably looking for some sort of previous diagnosis of neurosis.)

Me: (Frowns. Steps on the scale.) Huh. Looks like your scale is a little off.

Nurse Assistant: (Chuckles) Oh yeah?

Me: (Mildly, but internally, irritated) Yeah... and by a little off, I mean it probably should be recalibrated.

Nurse Assistant: (A silent knod and polite smile that suggests he knows better than continue this conversation.) Okay. Let's get your temp.