POTD "Dear Mr. Steak Salesman"

 

Yesterday I was just putting Kai down in his crib and the doorbell rang. THE DREADED DOORBELL! Typically when the doorbell rings, my husky and his husky-wannabe partner-in-crime start HOWLING and singing to announce the unexpected arrival. In our small house, it is reaaaaallly loud, so 9 times out of 10 it wakes up both kiddos and sends me into a small swearing fit, running to the door to try to silence the dogs.

 

Thankfully on this day, for some strange reason, the dogs did not start going crazy. Maybe because I kept my cool? (Whatever the reason, they got goodies for it.)

 

I was greeted by a young man with over processed blond hair who you could just tell thought he was MUCH better looking than he actually is. He was a steak salesman and he wanted to sell me steaks. I tried to quietly, through the crack in the door, while holding the muzzle of my large white dog, let him know that I was interested in hearing more, but that he'd need to come back. It was naptime, and that meant it was not a good time. Well, you'd think he'd have been very excited to hear that someone was interested, but he proceeded to act annoyed and confused as to why I couldn't talk that very moment. He just needed to get rid of "the last 5 steaks" on his truck so he could "get out of the rain" and "go home for the day."

 

After a short discussion I, again, told him to come back. He asked me to write down my address for him. Really? 

 

I shut the door and first: praised the dogs. Second: thanked God the boys did not wake up. Third: decided I would not be purchasing steaks from the tool. Fourth: let my facebook world know how annoyed I was at this meat merchant. Fifth: typed up a small note for the guy to find upon his arrival later that afternoon. I did not want to have to talk to him again.

 

So today's POTD is the note. I basically told him I was no longer interested in his product and gave him a few sales pointers for future cold calls. It read:

 

 Dear Mr. Steak Salesman that rang my doorbell during naptime,

You must not have children, or if you do, you clearly do not understand how CRITICAL it is that they sleep. If they do not, they turn into gremlins.

I told you that it wasn’t a good time to talk and asked you to come back ANYTIME in the morning or afternoon. That I’d love to hear your sales pitch and compare prices to our local grocery stores. In fact, I even used the words : “Yes, I’m interested.”

Here’s a sales tip: Acting annoyed, or like it’s an inconvenience to you to have to come back at another time (because it’s raining, or because you’re trying to get rid of the steaks on your truck, or because you want to end your day early… or whatever it was you were saying) is not a good selling tactic.

Here’s another sales tip: You seemed to find my house ok. Don’t ask me to write down my address. My babies are sleeping and my dogs are about to start barking.

Maybe next time you can smile. Or, you can try “Oh, ok. Really sorry to interrupt naptime, but I’ve got a few steaks left on the truck and I’d love to sell them to you if I can come back later today.”
Sorry, I’m no longer interested in your product. And I’m sorry you had to come back out in the rain. If I wasn’t so worried about my babies waking up, I would have told you to forget it earlier.

Have a great day.

PS. If you don’t like the rain, you should probably move out of WA.
PPS. Before I stayed home with my babies, I sold dental lasers that cost in excess of $100,000. I know a thing or two about cold calling.

Good luck out there.

.....................................................

 

When he came back, the boys were still sleeping and so I just hid in the back bedroom. :) So brave.  From my covert location, I texted my BFF neighbor, Dick, asking him to tell me when they left. He was a big help and alerted me as soon as the van departed the drive.

 

They took the note and never made a peep. No knock or doorbell.

 

Sometimes being a stay-at-home-mom can be adventurous. :) Sort of.